If you’re new to my blog or have been a follower for a while – I have some sad news to share about my dad so that you know why I’m out of commission for a bit.
This past Tuesday, May 7th, around 3:30 in the afternoon the world was flat – then in a millisecond, with two words, “he’s gone”, I realized the world is round.
The impossible became possible.
A man I had just seen Monday night, the picture of health, while we watched my daughter take swim lessons, was gone.
I had been sitting in a meeting at work Tuesday afternoon when a friend told me there had been an emergency. It didn’t register. “Are you kidding?” I looked at my phone and saw four missed calls – one from my mom; in a broken voice she told me there had been an emergency and to come quickly. My hands were shaking as I pressed the elevator down button and I was already crying. What could it be? I thought maybe the boat fell on my dad, the ultimate fisherman and outdoors-man. I said to myself, shoot he’ll still find a way to fish, even if he doesn’t have his legs.
I walked outside and my husband was waiting for me outside which was very odd. He drove like a maniac to the ER. What could be wrong? As I walked in the room he was quietly lying there. My dad. But gone. Gone. I crumpled to the floor.
Earlier in the day he and my mom had met with a financial planner. At 67 he had finally made the decision to retire. Around lunchtime, he rode his bike up to the pool like he does every other day to lift weights and swim laps. He greeted the staff and began his laps, about 13 minutes in he made the turn at the pool side where the lifeguard was, stopped swimming and went under. That’s it. The lifeguard noticed immediately and reacted, they got him out in about 20 seconds but it was too late. Even as I write this it seems surreal.
Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. I still don’t believe it.
As we left the hospital we were in shock. We are still in shock. There is no WAY.
There is so much to be done it is overwhelming.
Now I think of all the things he will miss – my daughter’s graduation, holidays, travel, camping trips, daily life – and it makes me so, so sad. My daughter is 4 – will she remember Papa?
We were told he had coronary heart disease and had a heart attack. What?! I wrack my brain. Were there any signs? ANY symptoms? I think back. I continually ask myself what if he hadn’t been in that pool. What if I had pushed him even harder to stop eating meat?
There are so many reminders – his art work all over my house, his work boots in the garage – empty. Never to be worn again. We had to retrieve his belongings from the pool. His flip flops wrapped neatly in his towel.
My memories flash back – from both long in the past and even from a few days ago; his raised gardens in Massachusetts, where he grew beans, broccoli and raspberries, weekends at Cape Cod, all the camping trips we have taken, how he would tell me stories at bedtime and now my daughter those same stories, trekking out to the marsh to catch fiddler crabs with my daughter, swimming at blue springs state park, retiring his old flip flops in the desert in Arizona, cooking up dinner on the Big Green Egg and how proud he was on Monday to see his granddaughter swimming under water to grab the colorful rings.
All we can do now is live and put one foot in front of the other and celebrate the life he had.
And celebrate the time we had with him.
And cherish each and every memory.
Daddy – you will be missed. I love you. We love you. And so many others love you.
Papa, Granddaughter and Daisy
My dad is the reason I created the Cleansing Life Diet Reset Program. 5 Steps, 21 Days to prevention. Click here for more info.